When You Feel God Is Not Fair

Most of us are familiar with the story of the prodigal son in Luke 15 who left his father’s house, wasted his inheritance, and eventually returned. But through this post, I want to highlight another character in the story –  the older brother. His struggle is one that many of us can relate to.

When faithfulness feels overlooked

Let’s look at what happened after the prodigal son comes to his senses. After living a sinful and reckless life, he realized that even the servants in his father’s house were better off than he was and he decided to return home in repentance.

When he arrived, his father was overjoyed. Instead of rejecting him, the father embraced him, restored him, and threw a great celebration for him.

Meanwhile, the older brother was out in the field, unaware of what was happening.

Luke 15:25-28 says:

“Now his older son was in the field. And as he came and drew near to the house, he heard music and dancing. So he called one of the servants and asked what these things meant. And he said to him, ‘Your brother has come, and because he has received him safe and sound, your father has killed the fatted calf.’ But he was angry and would not go in. Therefore his father came out and pleaded with him.”

The older brother became angry. In his eyes, this celebration seemed unfair. After all, he had stayed. He had been faithful. He had obeyed his father. He had worked diligently and honoured the family. Yet now the attention and celebration were being given to the son who had rebelled and walked away.

Have you ever felt like the older brother?

If we’re honest, many of us have felt this way at some point. Maybe you have faithfully served God for years. Maybe you’ve tried your best to live a righteous life.Maybe you’ve prayed, obeyed, and remained committed even during difficult seasons. Yet you see someone else receiving the very blessing you’ve been waiting for.

Perhaps: A friend gets married while you’re still waiting. A colleague gets promoted while you’ve worked just as hard. Someone else is blessed with children while you’re praying for a family. A newer believer receives opportunities and recognition while you feel unnoticed.

And suddenly, the questions begin.”Why them and not me?””Why am I not being celebrated?””Why does it seem like others receive favour so easily?”

These are the very emotions the older brother experienced.

The Father’s response

The older brother poured out his frustrations to his father.

So he answered and said to his father, ‘Lo, these many years I have been serving you; I never transgressed your commandment at any time; and yet you never gave me a young goat, that I might make merry with my friends. But as soon as this son of yours came, who has devoured your livelihood with harlots, you killed the fatted calf for him.’(Luke 15:29-30)

Can you hear the pain in his words?

“Father, I’ve been faithful.””I’ve done everything right.””Why is he being celebrated while I’m being overlooked?”

But the father answered with incredible wisdom.

And he said to him, ‘Son, you are always with me, and all that I have is yours. It was right that we should make merry and be glad, for your brother was dead and is alive again, and was lost and is found.(Luke 15:31-32)

The father wasn’t diminishing the older son’s faithfulness. He was simply celebrating a restoration. What seemed unfair from one perspective looked completely different from another.

Sometimes we don’t know someone else’s story

One reason we struggle with comparison is because we often see the blessing but not the battle.We see someone’s passion for God but not the brokenness they came from. We see their victory but not the years of pain.

Jesus said in Luke 7:47,

Therefore I say to you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much. But to whom little is forgiven, the same loves little.

The principle is simple: those who have experienced great forgiveness often respond with great gratitude and great love. Sometimes God is celebrating a story of redemption that we do not fully understand.

The danger of comparison

Instead of celebrating others, the older brother allowed anger to take root in his heart. Comparison can easily become jealousy, which further turns to bitterness.And bitterness can rob us of our joy.

The Bible warns us in James 3:16, For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there.

The more we focus on what others have, the less grateful we become for what God has already given us.

The father reminded his son:”Son, you are always with me, and all that I have is yours.”

What a powerful statement!

The older brother was so focused on what his brother received that he forgot everything he already possessed. And sometimes we do the same thing. We become so focused on what God is doing for someone else that we overlook what He has already done for us.

Psalm 5:12 says: For You, O Lord, will bless the righteous; With favor You will surround him as with a shield.

God’s favor is not limited. Someone else’s blessing does not mean there is less favor available for you. God’s blessings are not a competition. In fact if we’re honest, many of us have already been blessed far more than we realize. Yet we often focus on what we don’t have instead of thanking Him for what we do have.

There is an old saying: “The grass is always greener on the other side.”

Well, the grass is greener where it is watered.

Instead of looking at someone else’s field, take care of your own.Let’s continue to be faithful where God has planted us.

Learning contentment

Human nature often struggles with contentment. People with straight hair want curly hair. People with curly hair want straight hair. Some wish they looked different. Others wish they had someone else’s life. The cycle never ends. But Scripture teaches us a better way.

Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content. Philippians 4:11

Contentment is learned. It grows as we trust God’s timing and His goodness.

So child of God, never forget your identity in Christ. You are not overlooked. You are not forgotten. You are not less valuable because someone else is being celebrated. As Philippians 1:6 reminds us: Being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ.

Celebrate others and watch God work

Being happy for someone else’s blessing is not always easy. It requires humility, dying to our pride and trusting God’s timing.But when we learn to celebrate others, something beautiful happens in our hearts – we become free from comparison and jealousy. We become free to enjoy the blessings God has given us.

The measure of grace, kindness, and celebration you extend to others often becomes the measure you experience yourself (Luke 6:38).

So choose gratitude over comparison.Choose celebration over jealousy. Choose trust over frustration.

And remember: you are deeply loved, richly blessed, and highly favored by God.